| #40 |
#40-1. It isn't the incompetent who destroy an organization -- it is those who have achieved something and want to rest upon their achievements who are forever clogging things up.
-Charles Sorenson
#40-2. There is nothing as useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.
-Peter Drucker
#40-3. Today's newest breed of employee is the self-manager. These workers are the ones who survived the recent waves of downsizing, both by seeking and capitalizing on new opportunities and by learning new skills. Because these employees increasingly possess the skills and technological tools to supervise themselves - individually or in teams - they are eliminating the need for layers of management. More executives will soon find their jobs redundant, while self-managing front-line workers become highly valued and virtually fire proof. Everyone should strive to become self-managed. It is clearly the direction business is taking.
-John Challenger
_____
Recent studies from diverse sources have highlighted how successful people let that success itself become a barrier to the next phase of achievement. The Enrons and Andersons or even the various derivatives trading disasters at Barings and Sumitomo did not have stereotypical "villains" at the center of those stories. In fact, "heroes" and "champions", brilliant whiz-kids, management gurus and hallowed institutions were the protagonists. All those who have achieved a leadership position should re-examine themselves and their environment to renew their self-image, re-assess their competencies and reorient. I recently read a book by executive coach Marshall Goldsmith called, "What Got You Here Won't Get You There" touching upon this subject. Compulsory reading for senior managers.
Part of what leaders need to do is to ensure that the right things are done before embarking on doing things right. The other aspect to reflect on is your equation with subordinates, many of who belong to a different generation.
| #39: Mothers' Day |
A man stopped at a flower shop to order some flowers to be wired to his mother who lived two hundred miles away. As he got out of his car he noticed a young girl sitting on the curb sobbing.
He asked her what was wrong and she replied, "I wanted to buy a red rose for my mother. But I only have seventy-five cents, and a rose costs two dollars." The man smiled and said, "Come on in with me. I'll buy you a rose."
He bought the little girl her rose and ordered his own mother's flowers.
As they were leaving he offered the girl a ride home. She said, "Yes, please! You can take me to my mother."
She directed him to a cemetery, where she placed the rose on a freshly dug grave.
The man returned to the flower shop, canceled the wire order, picked up a bouquet and drove the two hundred miles to his mother's house.
_____
While the touching aspect of this story is obvious, I find other interesting thought-triggers in it.
1. We often need a comparative reference in order to relook at something and realize its value. Could we consciously acquire the habit to periodically revisit existing situations, people, relationships and investments with a fresh perspective?
2. The man seems to have had an inherent sensitivity and willingness to open himself to an unplanned experience, which, in turn, led to something good. If he ignored the sobbing girl or even just gave her money and walked away, there would be no story. I have personally experienced that many interesting new things happened in activities that were not only unplanned but could-not-have-been planned.
| #38 |
#38-1. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
-Walter Bagehot
#38-2. Fly with the wind, you fly long. Fly against the wind, you fly high.
-Anon
#38-3. If everybody likes you, you are not doing it right.
-Bette Davis
_____
Conformity is drilled into each of us from birth, at home and at school. This is an inevitable part of "growing up". But somewhere many of us fail to retain a part of our core self: creative, courageous, curious... So we need such inspiring reminders to dare to do something different. And the biggest reward is an inner satisfaction.
| #37 |
#37-1. The ability to ask good questions is a skill which is often un-tapped. In our society it is more common to hear people talking about themselves than asking questions of others.
-Alice Fryling
#37-2. Opportunity's favorite disguise is trouble.
-Frank Tyger
#37-3. You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.
-Buckminster Fuller
_____
My thought: Is the purpose of a question always to obtain answers?
| #36: Acres of Diamonds |
Every kind of work has enormous opportunity lurking within it. The opportunities are there now, clamoring to be noticed. But they cannot speak or print signs for us to read. Our part of the bargain is to look at our work with "intelligent objectivity". If we have the wisdom and patience to intelligently, effectively explore the work in which we're now engaged, to explore ourselves, we would most likely find the riches we seek.
by ? (I have heard this from many sources, including motivational authors Earl Nightingale and Shiv Khera)
The story — a true one — is told of an African farmer who heard tales about other farmers who had made millions by discovering diamond mines. These tales so excited the farmer that he could hardly wait to sell his farm and go prospecting for diamonds himself. He sold the farm and spent the rest of his life wandering the African continent searching unsuccessfully for the gleaming gems that brought such high prices on the markets of the world. Finally, worn out and in a fit of despondency, he threw himself into a river and drowned.
Meanwhile, the man who had bought his farm happened to be crossing the small stream on the property one day, when suddenly there was a bright flash of blue and red light from the stream bottom. He bent down and picked up a stone. It was a good-sized stone, and admiring it, he brought it home and put it on his fireplace mantel as an interesting curiosity.
Several weeks later a visitor picked up the stone, looked closely at it, hefted it in his hand, and nearly fainted. He asked the farmer if he knew what he'd found. When the farmer said, no, that he thought it was a piece of crystal, the visitor told him he had found one of the largest diamonds ever discovered. The farmer had trouble believing that. He told the man that his creek was full of such stones, not all as large as the one on the mantel, but sprinkled generously throughout the creek bottom.
The farm the first farmer had sold, so that he might find a diamond mine, turned out to be one of the most productive diamond mines on the entire African continent. The first farmer had owned, free and clear... acres of diamonds. But he had sold them for practically nothing, in order to look for them elsewhere. The moral is clear: If the first farmer had only taken the time to study and prepare himself to learn what diamonds looked like in their rough state, and to thoroughly explore the property he had before looking elsewhere, all of his wildest dreams would have come true.
The thing about this story that has so profoundly affected millions of people is the idea that each of us is, at this very moment, standing in the middle of our own acres of diamonds. If we had only had the wisdom and patience to intelligently and effectively explore the work in which we're now engaged, to explore ourselves, we would most likely find the riches we seek, whether they be financial or intangible or both.
Before you go running off to what you think are greener pastures, make sure that your own is not just as green or perhaps even greener. It has been said that if the other guy's pasture appears to be greener than ours, it's quite possible that it's getting better care. Besides, while you're looking at other pastures, other people are looking at yours.
_____
Important point brought out in a simple story. Exploring and celebrating what we have, as opposed to things we do not seem to have, is a sensible attitude. Today's ultra-competitive environment seems to foster a behavior of silly comparison in everything. "Oh, did you buy that for $23? I paid $24 last month." In my daughter's school I have encountered parents who want to know the marks of other children before that of their own child.
| #35: Something Plus Acceptance |
When someone is doing something or about to do something, in a way I don't want it to be done -- and I am able to accept it -- I remain tolerant.
If I am able to accept it, I get inspired.
_____
| #34 |
#34-1. Society is like a stew. If you don't keep it stirred up you get a lot of scum on the top.
-Edward Abbey, naturalist and author (1927-1989)
#34-2. Words ought to be a little wild, for they are the assault of thoughts on the unthinking.
-John Maynard Keynes, economist (1883-1946)
#34-3. I am willing to put myself through anything; temporary pain or discomfort means nothing to me as long as I can see that the experience will take me to a new level. I am interested in the unknown, and the only path to the unknown is through breaking barriers, an often painful process.
-Diane Nyad, painter
____
A little shake-up to thought patterns of individuals, teams, organizations and society is recommended at periodic intervals. Events and circumstances might occasionally force such a review and renewal, but attainment of new levels of success requires doing this proactively. A useful New Year resolution, methinks.
Such a move beyond the familiar would naturally involve a temporary discomfort but the outcome is worth it.
| #33 |
#33-1. In life, to handle yourself, use your head, but to handle others, use your heart.
-Swami Chinmayananda
#33-2. Snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.
-Vista M. Kelly
#33-3. We are judged by what we finish, not by what we start.
-Anon
_____
It is easier to be rational and logical about other people's situations than our own but we should do the opposite.
Taking things to closure is a key ability.
| #32: Bless You My Friends |
with more health than illness,
you are more blessed than the
million who won't survive the week.
the danger of battle,
the loneliness of imprisonment,
the agony of torture or
the pangs of starvation,
you are ahead of 20 million people
around the world.
without fear of harassment,
arrest, torture, or death,
you are more blessed than almost
three billion people in the world.
clothes on your back, a roof over
your head and a place to sleep,
you are richer than 75% of this world.
in your wallet, and spare change
in a dish someplace, you are among
the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
you are very rare,
especially in the United States.
on your face and are truly thankful,
you are blessed because the majority can,
but most do not.
or even touch them on the shoulder,
you are blessed because you can
offer God's healing touch.
you are more blessed than over
two billion people in the world
that cannot read anything at all.
you may never even know.
Recent leadership literature and medicinal research reports promote having an "attitude of gratitude". We tend to take for granted whatever we have and crave after what we don't. Sometimes a dose of facts helps put things in perspective and have a better sense of proportion.
| #31: You are staring at your blindspots |
I don't know who discovered water, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't a fish.
-Marshall McLuhan (1911-1980), media critic & writer
Something to consider:
Just like a fish can't see the water it's swimming in, you can't see the world immediately in front of you. It takes someone with a different perspective to point it out. These people can see opportunities that you can't see. They can see pitfalls that you can' t see. They can see them, ironically, because they aren't staring at them every day.
Something to try:
1. Sit down with a sharp person from another industry (or department or role).
2. Describe the details of a project you're working on (include your challenges).
3. Ask them to point out opportunities you might be missing.
4. Switch it up and do the same thing for them.
5. Recognize that someone else can often see the opportunities/challenges in front of you a lot easier than you can.
(Excerpted from the post by Doug Sundheim found in the Fastcompany blog archive.)
_____
A similar thought is expressed by the quote: The expert misses the obvious. I have often found that an "innocent" question from someone who is a novice in an area could throw up interesting new perspectives to explore.
Talking of novices, I also believe that our expertise in a subject is measured by whether we can successfully explain the basics of that subject to an absolute layperson. A favourite example I like to imagine is my explaining, say, user interface design as a career to my (late) grandmother.
| #30 |
#30-1. To increase fear - wait, put off, postpone. To fight fear, act.
-David J. Schwartz
#30-2. Winners are those people who make a habit of doing the things losers are uncomfortable doing.
-Ed Foreman
#30-3. What one does is what counts and not what one had the intention of doing.
-Pablo Picasso
_____
Action orientation, especially aimed at completion of the boring, the unpleasant and the difficult, is a key characteristic of successful persons. We are told it can be cultivated as a habit.
How many times we end up explaining what we meant to do, what we thought, what we attempted, what assumptions drove our actions etc.? This is a typical mistake seen in a customer support environment. The customer or our managers are initially more interested in knowing what will be done, what needs to be done, how to resolve the issue. The time for analysis of the past circumstances is later, after resolving the issue at hand, when we want to identify preventive action for the future or assign accountability.
| #29: Instintive Behaviour |
The BUZZARD
If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner. The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of 10 to 12 feet. Without space to run, as is its habit, it will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.
The BAT
The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkably nimble creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place. If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and, no doubt, painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.
The BUMBLEBEE
A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom. It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.
PEOPLE
In many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat, and the bumblebee. We struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up or outside the boundaries created by our problems to find the right solution.
_____
I do not the know the scientific authenticity of the facts above but it sounded thought-provoking enough to include in i-TFTD.
Leaders of teams could use this analogy to understand members of their teams: some might need a proper platform to fly, some need to be encouraged to look at the source of light, some need to see a clear "runway" before taking off...
| #28: When Not Hearing is a Virtue |
A group of frogs were travelling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.
The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all of their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.
The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out.
When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?"
The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.
This story teaches two lessons:
1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.
2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them. Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path.
The power of words... it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times.
Special is the individual who will take the time to encourage another.
Be Special to others.
_____
I think it also teaches us that we can be happier and achieve much more by choosing to tune out the negativities around us.
| #27: A Book List |
As promised, here is a list of books that made an impact on me. It was a tough task as there are many books I have found useful, fascinating or enjoyable. This is just a top-of-the-mind, partial, unordered list of books of different categories that left a lasting impression, and, in some cases, changed me as a person. For those interested, brief notes on the books are given at the end.
-The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck
-Illusions by Richard Bach
-The Mystic Path to Cosmic Power by Vernon Howard
-Don't Say Yes When You Want to Say No by Herbert Fensterheim and Jean Baer
-The Psychology of Winning by Denis Waitley
-Bertrand Russell's Best selected by Robert E. Egner
-Working Smart by Michael LeBouef
-Serious Creativity by Edward de Bono
-The Man Who Knew Infinity: A Life of the Genius Ramanujan by Robert Kanigel
-Debugging the Development Process by Steve Maguire
-Essential COM by Don Box
-Electronic Life by Michael Crichton
-Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Cziksentmihalyi
-The Universe Within: A New Science Explores the Human Mind by Morton Hunt
-The Rational Manager by Charles H. Kepner and Benjamin B. Tregoe
-The Prayer of the Frog by Anthony D'Mello
-The Laughter Prescription by Laurence J Peter and Bill Dana
-Manwatching by Desmond Morris
-Murphy's Law Complete by Arthur Bloch
-The Elements of Style by William Strunk and E.B. White
There are some authors whose writing style is so engaging that most of their books or essays are highly readable. For me, such authors include: Isaac Asimov, Bertrand Russell, Richard Bach, J Krishnamurthi, Ayn Rand, Michael Crichton, Dave Barry, Bill Cosby, Arun Shourie, Vivekananda, Kahlil Gibran and Anant Pai (Amar Chitra Katha!).
Some recently discovered (by me) are: Simon Singh, Marcus Buckingham, Marshall Goldsmith, Chinmayananda (!).
Brief about each book (based on memory)
The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck
Psychiatrist who has written about effective coping of life situations. His themes like discipline and delayed gratification are now widely accepted due to the popularity of Emotional Intelligence. This book will not appeal to those who do not like to read psychology.
Illusions by Richard Bach
Most people love his first book, "Jonathan Livingston Seagull", but Illusions appealed to me more. It has killer statements like, "Members of a family are rarely born under the same roof" and "Argue for your limitations, and, sure enough, they are yours."
The Mystic Path to Cosmic Power by Vernon Howard
One of the first secular spiritual books I read that synthesizes ideas from all religions in a practical, personal manner. Light style but deep content. It was also not trying to hard-sell anything, not even the "best approach".
Don't Say Yes When You Want to Say No by Herbert Fensterheim and Jean Baer
A best-selling assertiveness book for a long time, with exercises suggested to overcome that vague hesitation.
The Psychology of Winning by Denis Waitley
Practical and sober advice from a psychologist and motivational writer on being a true winner regardless of the sphere of activity and one's position. Not heavy psychology stuff. Ranks equal for me with "Psychocybernetics" by Max Maltz.
Bertrand Russell's Best selected by Robert E. Egner
A distillation from the writings of a prolific author-philosopher. The most humbling experience of my life to see so many aspects of society, relationships, science, religion, politics and happiness analyzed in a razor-sharp manner and comprehensively treated in a satirical language. I was almost depressed thinking everything has been covered for good! Every time I dip into it and read a para I get inspired. Anyone who feels their clarity of thought and arguing skill is high should read Russell.
Working Smart by Michael LeBouef
Extremely useful snippets on communication, time management, getting organized, collaborating and stress management.
Serious Creativity by Edward de Bono
Most of de Bono's books are creative variations of his first book, "Lateral Thinking", a term he coined to avoid the value judgement attached to the phrase "creative thinking". This one is a good compendium of techniques to use different types of thinking in different situations and how to develop the habit.
The Man Who Knew Infinity: A Life of the Genius Ramanujan by Robert Kanigel
Better than any book written earlier by Indians and Britishers, this one by an American captured the ethos of Srinivasa Ramanujan's times and his unbelievable life story. The flavour of mathematics and his relationship with G.H. Hardy are covered well to cater to all levels of readers. The tragedy and the beauty of the story are balanced as is the greatness and human weaknesses of the main figures. Inspiring to know such men existed (I mean both Ramanujan and Hardy).
Debugging the Development Process by Steve Maguire
Highly recommended book for software leads and managers with unconventional common sense tips along with insider stories from Microsoft.
Essential COM by Don Box
More than any of the OO books by famous authors like Grady Booch, James Rumbaugh and Ivar Jacobson, this book explained the component approach that truly made reuse and encapsulation a reality in the software industry. This was the definitive technical book of the early 90s and though it is Microsoft platform-centric, I believe all software professionals need to understand the evolution from procedural to object-orientation to components to interfaces and now services. Not for non-techies.
Electronic Life by Michael Crichton
Crichton is a medical doctor who wrote this small pocket book about computers (!) around 1987. His interesting style was evident then itself though fame came in the 90s after he wrote Jurassic Park and many blockbusters after that. The book is of no interest now but it was one of many gems I picked up cheap (maybe Rs. 11 or 19 or something like that) at King's Circle in Mumbai where piles of assorted books are sold on the street. Reinforced my interest in computers.
Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Cziksentmihalyi
In 1990 when I carried this book in the New York subway travelling from Queens to Wall Street, one colleague asked me what it is about. Before I answered, another chipped in, "After you read it you will know how to pronounce the author's name!" In fact, you won't. It is pronounced "Me-high Chick-sent-me-high" but the book talks about his research on the flow experience when we are fully immersed in an activity without feeling the passage of time, hunger or boredom. Brilliant research and fascinating insights. His work is being quoted widely in recent years and has relevance for happiness, stress management, motivation, creativity and goal-setting. Slightly dry style.
The Universe Within: A New Science Explores the Human Mind by Morton Hunt
One of the early books that explained the brain structure and functioning based on all the research up to that time. Many such books are now available as the past decade has seen the coming together of electrochemical research, psychology and sociology.
The Rational Manager by Charles H. Kepner and Benjamin B. Tregoe
Another very old gem (published in the 1960s) I picked up from the street at King's Circle. "Deviation Analysis" is a systematic problem-solving method explained with industry examples in the book. As part of the quality management focus starting in the late 80s, this has become quite famous as KT or Kepner-Tregoe method for debugging any tricky problem.
The Prayer of the Frog by Anthony D'Mello
One of many similar books by the author, containing small jokes and anecdotes intended to provoke laughter, thought and insights. Spirituality is not available in an easier package.
The Laughter Prescription by Laurence J Peter and Bill Dana
Peter is famous for stating the Peter Principle and other humorous management thoughts. This book talks about the importance of a sense of humour for good health in, well, a humourous manner.
Manwatching by Desmond Morris
The man who made anthropology famous with many interesting books and controversial theories. This is a large format book with many pictures and mind-blogging facts about humans and other animals. An antidote to the typical belief that humans are special and different from other lower animals.
Murphy's Law Complete by Arthur Bloch
A compilation of many witty observations about people, things, day-to-day problems and organizations presented in the form of laws and corollaries to Murphy's law ("If anything can go wrong, it will"). My favourites include, "If you wash your car it will rain" followed by, "If you wash your car intending it to rain, it won't" followed by "If Murphy's law can go wrong, it will!"
The Elements of Style by William Strunk and E.B. White
An old classic (first written in 1918) -- a short reference manual for any kind of writing. Other than rules of grammar, it contains advice on concise, vigorous writing. The strongly opinionated American professor from a century ago still influences English. If you google on the title you will see hundreds of thousands of results. Taught me to re-read (and rewrite) any important matter. Always becomes shorter. And better.
| #26 |
#26-1. Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival.
-W. Edwards Deming
#26-2. These are not books, lumps of lifeless paper, but minds alive on the shelves.
-Gilbert Highet
#26-3. It seems in every interaction there is something to learn if we can only see ourselves as students. If we can humble ourselves, and allow ourselves to see the world without our own beliefs and dogmas, then we could see so much beauty awaiting us in each moment.
-Sukh Chugh
_____
These are on one of my favourite themes: learning.
Too many people, in my view, say things like, "What can you learn just by reading a book?" and "You cannot become an expert on this by reading books about it." Worse, they use such statements to not read. One can also say, "What can you learn just by repeatedly doing something?" and "You cannot become an expert on this by trying to do it."
Different things are learnt in different ways, one is not a substitute for the other.
Books are an easy, portable, imagination-inducing, inspiring source of digested knowledge and experience. One book, one page of a book can change your life. Mine has, many times. Will share a list of books that impacted me next time.
Read whatever appeals to you but do read. Nowadays all kinds of subjects are packaged in small, easy-to-read story formats. Those of us based in India have access to the world's best books at inexpensive prices.
| #25 |
#25-1. The word "crisis" is from the Greek, meaning "a moment to decide". The recurrent moments of crisis and decision when understood, are growth junctures, points of initiation which mark a release from one state of being and a growth into the next.
-Jill Purce
#25-2. Life is part positive and part negative. Suppose you went to hear a symphony orchestra and all they played were the little, happy, high notes? Would you leave soon? Let me hear the rumble of the bass, the crash of the cymbals, and the minor keys.
-Jim Rohn
#25-3. No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
-Anon
_____
Highly effective people have a tendency to look for crisis situations, problems or issues as opportunities for learning and growth. Many of us unwittingly avoid such situations thereby missing opportunities. Of course, we should avoid creating new problems, anticipate potential issues and mitigate risks, but here we are talking of problems already in existence or those that inevitably crop up despite our best effort.
All of us know life is a mixture of highs and lows but some of us tend to accentuate the negative, dwell on unhappiness. A balanced perspective is needed to move forward.
The third quote reminds us how practical it is to move forward. Looking at the past is useful only on two occasions: to learn something out of it, and to enjoy a few nostalgic moments. Otherwise it is best to focus on what can be done now to influence the future in a positive way.
| #24: The Brick |
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister... please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.
"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"
God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.
_____
Yes, pausing once in a while is a good reminder for some in perpetual hurry. But there are other things one could glean from this (as usual). The reminder is valuable only for people moving ahead fast in the first place. So fast is not bad but essential. The always slow and saintly might not get the Jaguar! The boy's leadership skills are admirable: escalation, taking action instead of moaning about the big, bad world, knowingly doing a small "wrong" thing to achieve a larger right objective.
| #23: Avoiding Futile Competition |
Seeing everyone as your competitor has two negative consequences. First, it isolates you and your efforts, putting a full burden on your shoulders that others could help you bear; and second, it means you waste energy trying to set others back rather than using that energy to push yourself forward.
Consider the following true story by Frank Koch in an issue of Proceedings, the magazine of the United States Naval Institute. Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. Koch was serving on the lead battleship and was standing watch on the bridge as night fell. He recounts his experience.
The visibility was extremely poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge, keeping an eye on our navigation activities.
Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, "Light, bearing on the starboard bow!"
The captain called out, "Is it steady or moving astern?"
The lookout replied, "Steady, captain," which meant that we were on a collision course with that source of light.
The captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that ship: We are on a collision course... advise you change course 20 degrees."
Back came the signal from the other ship. "Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees!"
The captain barked, "Send, I'm a captain... change course 20 degrees immediately."
"I'm a seaman second class," came the reply. "You had better change course 20 degrees!" By this time, the captain was furious. He spat out, "Send, I'm a battleship. Change course 20 degrees."
Back came the signal from the flashing light, "I'm a lighthouse."
The captain changed course.
The moral of the story is that it is futile to try to set others back when you could turn yourself 20 degrees and go forward!
Source: Psychology of Motivation by Dr. Denis Waitley
_____
My two-bit: Another aphorism is, "pick your battles". There are contests worth fighting even if the odds of losing are high, and there are contests worth avoiding even if the odds of winning are high.
| #22 |
#22-1. Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew.
-Cicely Tyson
#22-2. We are always getting ready to live, but never living.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
#22-3. Learn to use things and love people
Not love things and use people!
-Anon
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We know challenges, a.k.a. problems, are opportunities to stretch our capabilities and hopefully grow, but we somehow tend to avoid them. Difficult situations bring out the best in us, and even when we seemingly fail, we learn about our limitations. And this can prove very useful in future.
Emerson's quote reminds us to not overindulge in the eager learner mode of operation. We have to learn to enjoy this journey even as we anxiously equip ourselves for the future.
The third quote is easy enough to nod knowingly. Do we do it?
| #21: Learning from the Dictionary |
Some unusual words courtesy http://wordsmith.org/awad/; interesting to know there's a word for such a thing; all are avoidable behaviour.
sequacious (si-KWAY-shuhs) adjective: Unthinkingly following others
misology (mi-SOL-uh-jee) noun: Hatred of logic or reason
verbigeration (vuhr-bij-uh-RAY-shun) noun: Obsessive repetition of meaningless words and phrases
_____
*We* don't do such things, right? Others do.
Under normal, favourable conditions most of us are logical, independent thinkers who speak well.
It is when faced with adversity, a threatening situation, a crisis, when things are not as we expected, that we sometimes feel compelled to be sequacious.
When our boss (or subordinate or spouse) has a valid counterpoint and is more logical, we tend to temporarily become misologists (yes, it is a word).
On getting caught doing something we ought not, or, when an important person in an audience asks a tough question on the weakest area of a presentation we made, we instantly acquire the skill of verbigeration.
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