| #20 |
Some of my favourites:
#20-1. I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-John Cage
#20-2. Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
-Anon
#20-3. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over and over again, but expecting a different result.
-Albert Einstein
_____
All of them exhort us to be willing to consider new thoughts, ideas, inputs and approaches.
Sometimes we behave -- especially those of us in higher positions -- as though discussing an alternative idea is by itself harmful. We cite our experience with past attempts and our wiser judgement to preempt a suggestion. Even if, at the end of considering a few more ideas, we decide to go with the idea that we originally thought, the exploration would still prove useful. If nothing else, it adds to our conviction and gives the satisfaction of making a well-considered decision.
Better results, by definition, can only come from a better approach to action. To be able to process newer ideas, we need periodic refreshing of the mental database with new data.
Nobody would admit to being afraid to learn. But it manifests itself in different ways like, "I am too old to change", "I already know all this", and "Reading a book never helped anyone achieve anything". Other tactics we subconsciously deploy are to find fault with the persons providing learning opportunity, to question their ulterior motive, to criticize the style in which the input is given and so on.
| #19: Motivation + Talent = Strength |
Motivation + Talent = Strength
From Assessment.com Newsletter
Hydrogen and oxygen are distinctly different elements, but sometimes they combine to form water. Something similar is true for motivation and talent.
Motivation is what we LIKE to do naturally. Talent is what we DO well naturally. They can exist independently, but when they combine, they create something special. They create motivated talents.
People often are naturally good at something (talented), but it just doesn't turn them on. For example, Heather is good with numbers, but she doesn't go out of her way to find tasks calling for that talent. Most people have such talents. But then there are those talents that we really enjoy using. These are the motivated talents, and this is where the magic is.
We use motivated talents every chance we get. Most of the time we don't even think about it. For example, Larry has a motivated talent for conversation, and he naturally engages both friends and strangers in dialog. He doesn't consciously determine to do so; it just happens. It's natural and unforced. He enjoys it, and he's good at it. That's the hallmark of a motivated talent.
Motivated talents tend to be irrepressible. They find expression. In fact, if you've ever tried to stifle a motivated talent (either yours or someone else's) it probably felt like you were trying to hold two dozen ping pong balls under water at the same time. Motivated talents pop out, even if no one else is asking for them.
_____
This is a continuation of the theme outlined in i-TFTD #11: Abolish SWOT Analysis. My observation is that many of us are not even aware of our motivated talents, our strengths. If the above two examples do not find resonance in you, here are some more. Some people tend to challenge assumptions, question the problem statement, while others like to think of implementation issues of a given mandate. Some like to research, gather facts and feel comfortable with evidence before jumping into action while others are good at quickly starting work on a positive belief. Some like work that requires extended concentration while others are good at rallying around the team, talking to different people and working as a team.
Whatever our talents are, the trick is to be aware of them and tune our style accordingly in any given situation. In my view, it is idealistic to expect our work to always be in sync with our perceived talents. I say perceived because many of our talents are not yet discovered.
| #18 |
#18-1. It's so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to.
-Annie Gottlier
#18-2. Swallow your pride occasionally, it's non-fattening!
-Anon
#18-3. Knowledge is power, but enthusiasm pulls the switch.
-Ivern Ball
_____
The first and third are related. It is possible to psyche ourselves up to do something with gusto, and that makes a difference to the results. Try it and you will see. Ultimately it can actually become a habit and you will be a valued member in every professional or social group. Unfortunately there are still some who tend to say, "Don't be enthusastic all the time about everything." Ignore them.
Petty ego issues are all too common, a frequently occurring barrier to success, to better collaboration and to achieving all we can.
| #17 |
#17-1. Sometimes runners wear weights while training, to build up their muscles. Then when they take the weights off, they feel like they can almost fly! Our troubles, like those weights, strengthen our spirits and help us prepare for the next race.
-Anon
#17-2. You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.
-Abraham Lincoln
#17-3. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be...
-Isaac Asimov
_____
By actively seeking to solve small problematic situations we could train ourselves to better tackle bigger ones.
Too many people try to derive glory only from the achievements of their family, the reputation of institutions they have studied, and the organization they belong to.
Most individuals and organizations are constrained in their innovation effort by their practical knowledge of the past and the current, which is why those few who are able to imagine the future are able to make significant breakthroughs.
| #16: The Law of Giving |
The Law of Giving
by Ernie West
When you give of yourself you will receive in return. And it pays the best dividends.
There is a universal Law of Giving which dictates that by giving you will receive. It defies all logic. The thinking mind cannot comprehend how this can be so because the two actions are in direct contradiction to each other.
It is a sort of paradox. Trying to figure it out could cause you to spin in circles. You get by giving? It sounds absurd.
Giving freely of yourself and your time, money, attention etc to others pays you the best return on your investment. Keeping things to yourself selfishly causes what you do have to remain the same or even to dwindle.
It almost takes an act of faith to understand why this is so. Our thinking minds will almost short circuit while attempting to decipher the concept.
Let me interchange "subconscious mind" and "heart" to make it easier to understand. Here is what I've come up with: the reason you receive by giving is because WHEN YOU GIVE, IT CHANGES *YOU*, IT CHANGES YOUR HEART!
And when you are transformed on the subconscious level, all kinds of unexpected things happen. People have been rewarded in all kinds of ways
when they gave. Relationships with people are a two-way street. When you plant good seeds in their life, they will reciprocate by planting good seeds in your life.
The tree that grows in *YOU* as a result produces more fruit, providing more seed for you to reinvest. It's an ongoing loop that grows, provided that you continue to plant.
There is a clincher, one that most are not willing to try out for long enough because they are not patient and want immediate results. The clincher is this: YOU MUST GIVE WILLINGLY AND WITH NO THOUGHT OF GETTING IN RETURN.
This ties in with planting good seeds in others. It must be done with no expectation for reward. And it must be done long term. Every day. Day after day. Selflessly. Cheerfully. With a great attitude. With a sincere desire to help others any way you can.
If your first thought is like mine was when I realized this, you are probably thinking, "Even if this did make sense, it's not fair! People will just take advantage of me. I don't want to just keep giving and giving, I want to get something in return!" We all must undergo the change of heart that happens as a result of adopting a giving attitude.
The return comes as a result of the hearts of other people responding to what they sense in you. Sure, some might take what you are offering and run, but so what? Who cares? For every person that does this there are many others who will give you a much greater return than what you invested in their lives. Give freely of yourself today!
_____
I love articles that attempt to provide rational explanations to age-old beliefs. This one combines logic and psychology to explain why a giving attitude actually helps us.
| #15: The importance of being important |
The following is something to make us stop and think. Take this quiz:
Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
Name the last five winners of the Miss World contest.
Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
Name the last decade's worth of World Cup winners.
How did you do? The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.
Easier? The lesson? The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.
_____
This is one of my favourite i-TFTDs. What I like about many such thought-provoking snippets is that they trigger different responses from different people.
For instance, one reaction after reading the above is to say, "Yeah, I now see that there are so-called ordinary people in my daily life that make a big difference to me. I should remember to appreciate this fact and the people themselves."
Conversely you could also look at it as a reminder that you are a VIP in some people's lives -- at home, at work and to others about whom you care. Maybe I will be more careful in how I behave and what I convey when I realize this.
| #14: The Upside of Irritation |
There are many stories of spiritual masters embracing the presence of an annoying student in their community. There is even one story that documents a teacher paying an irritating person to live among his students. From an everyday perspective, this is difficult to comprehend. We generally work hard to avoid people and things that we find annoying so they don't bother us.
From a deeper spiritual perspective, however, irritation can be an important teacher and indicator that we are making progress on our path. Being able to remain centered and awake even when we feel uncomfortable is much more impressive than doing so in an environment where everything is to our liking. No matter how good we are at controlling our circumstances, there will always be factors and people that we cannot control. How we respond to these experiences to a great degree determines the quality of our lives. The goal of spiritual development is not to learn to control our environment -- which is more of an ego-driven desire. And while having some measure of control over our external reality is important, it is when we are confronted with a person or situation that irritates us and we can choose not to react that we know have made progress spiritually. It is when we have mastered our internal reality that we will have become the masters of our lives.
The more we try to eliminate annoyances, instead of learning to handle them gracefully, the further we get from developing the qualities that come with spiritual growth, such as patience, tolerance, and acceptance. It is often in the presence of people and experiences we find annoying that we have an opportunity to develop these qualities. Fortunately for most of us, our lives offer an abundance of opportunities to practice and cultivate these traits.
_____
Many times over the years, I have pondered on this theme and tried to observe my reactions. I wondered if "putting up" with something is the same as choosing not to react; whether inability to confront, some kind of fear is motivating me not to act. There is also the worry that suppression of anger will cause other side effects in the long run. However, the following has helped me:
1. Try to remember always that every human being is doing what they think is "a good thing". If at all I wish to influence their behaviour I have to aim at their logic or their heart, not their ego.
2. Interacting with and trying to understand different kinds of people helps enlarge my perspectives, leading to fewer things that really annoy. A little humility helps.
3. In certain situations I could display anger or passionately debate something but the important thing is not to seethe inside. Keep your inner focus on issues, results and not on individuals. After all, anger and dissatisfaction, when channelized into the world of ideas, are what have led to many innovations.
Finally, my getting irritated is useful if it induces me to act on improving myself and the situation, it is useless if all it does is affect my balance and my relationships.
| #13: Gestalt Prayer and Beyond |
Gestalt Prayer
-Fritz Perls (written in 1969 by the proponent of gestalt therapy)
I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.
_____
In the 80s and 90s, the above little snippet was fashionable to forward and practice. I always felt uncomfortable, not with the individualism but with the finality of tone in it, the "unconnectedness". My own thing was to understand other people, celebrate the differences and the similarities but I was unable to put it in words even within my own mind. My struggle found resolution, I found the ++ ("plus-plus") answer to the I, Me, Myself philosophy in a write-up from another psychologist. It is a repartee to the above, but it is more than that. It enlarges the above, simplistic vision to the real world of teams, relationships and connectedness in life. Here is that write-up:
Beyond Perls
-Tubbs W. (written in 1972 in the Journal of Humanistic Psychology)
If I just do my thing and you do yours,
We stand in danger of losing each other
And ourselves
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations;
But I am in this world to confirm you
As a unique human being,
And to be confirmed by you.
We are fully ourselves only in relation to each other;
The 'I' detached from a 'Thou' disintegrates.
I do not find you by chance; I find you by an active life
Of reaching out.
Rather than letting things passively happen to me,
I can act intentionally to make them happen.
I must begin with myself, true;
But I must not end with myself;
The truth begins with two.
| #12 |
#12-1. There are two ways to live life
One as though nothing is a miracle,
the other as though everything is a miracle.
-Albert Einstein
#12-2. Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least.
-Goethe
#12-3. We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.
-Albert Einstein
_____
Deep study of any subject be it science or the humanities, should make one wonder at the fascinating Universe we perceive ourselves to inhabit. Activities like trekking, star gazing and playing with a small child also have the same effect on me.
The second quote above can be seen as a time management tip (important versus urgent activities) but it is true in a more profound sense. In our interactions with people who matter, do we let a petty ego gratification override the opportunity to reinforce our relationship and leave a positive imprint on the other person?
"Stuckness" in thinking is too common an occurrence. To break out of it when faced with vexing problems, we need to seek inspiring input from outside. Could be another person, book or forcing ourselves to consider different viewpoints.
| #11: Abolist SWOT Analysis |
From a newsletter from http://www.assessment.com
Did you know that Babe Ruth, a famous baseball player, was once a pitcher? At one point he made the deliberate decision to stop pitching so he could focus on batting. He took a lot of heat for his decision because he was a *good* pitcher. He stuck with his decision though because he knew he had the motivation to be a *great* batter.
Often the difference between being good and being great is making adjustments that allow you to spend more of your time developing your greatest strengths.
Ever had an annual performance review where the first part was about the wonderful things you did that year, but then the focus quickly shifted to a discussion about shoring up your weaknesses? It’s an all-too-common scenario. And it’s probably a waste of time.
The "fix your weaknesses" school believes that with enough discipline, determination and training, anyone can do anything. Unfortunately, it confuses weaknesses and limitations. Weaknesses reflect a lack of skill (how to do something) or knowledge (what you know). Weaknesses can be overcome by education, training, experience and practice. On the other hand, limitations reflect a lack of motivation (what you do well naturally). These really can’t be overcome, because new motivations can’t be acquired.
In fact, if a person has low motivation in a particular area, spelling for example, there is very little likelihood that he or she will ever be a great speller. The best they will be is adequate. Who wants to be adequate?
It’s a much better idea to build on your strengths. If you want to move up from being good to being great, know what your talents and motivations are, and build on them.
Why? Because you will develop what you do best and enjoy most. These are your strengths, and they are yours for life. You can build on them, and they won't let you down. Think about it: what would your life be like if you got paid to do what you do best and truly enjoy? Awesome, isn’t it?
_____
This short snippet is one of many recent articles and books on a concept called Strengths-based Performance Management. The biggest proponent of this is Marcus Buckingham, former head of Gallup, who has mined the huge research database of Gallup to write books such as, "First Break All the Rules" and "Now, Discover Your Strengths".
The typical SWOT Analysis approach is to spend more time on weakness areas (called as "areas of improvement" or "areas of development") and recommend various actions such as attending training. The latest brain research shows how the basic behavioural tendencies are formed between the ages of 5 and 15, in terms of strong synaptic connections. We love doing and getting better at what we are good at. If we can therefore channelize these talents into work output, we can achieve excellence. We should be attending more training on our strength areas!
| #10: Two Wolves |
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My child, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
_____
Simple. Puts responsibility on our conscious will. "Feeding" could take the form of indulging or admiring in others.
| #9 |
#9-1. Do not confuse notoriety and fame with greatness... For you see, greatness is a measure of one's spirit, not a result of one's rank in human affairs.
-Sherman Finesilver
#9-2. Everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
-Robert Louis Stevenson
#9-3. Don't limit investing to the financial world. Invest something of yourself, and you will be richly rewarded.
-Charles Schwab
_____
Name and fame are results of our actions, which reflect our attitudes. They are indicators and are not worth pursuing by themselves.
We have to begin where we are -- where else?! Too often we ponder over the past, delaying the beginning of useful action. This quote also indicates we need to have a realistic assessment of where we are, not self-inflated opinions of it.
Once we know where we stand, and remove any confusion of our goals, we can begin investing -- of ourselves and in our selves.
| #8: Don't Quit |
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
-Seneca
DON'T QUIT
Don't quit when the tide is lowest,
For it's just about to turn;
Don't quit over doubts and questions,
For there's something you may learn.
Don't quit when the night is darkest,
For it's just a while 'til dawn;
Don't quit when you've run the farthest,
For the race is almost won.
Don't quit when the hill is steepest,
For your goal is almost nigh;
Don't quit, for you're not a failure
UNTIL YOU FAIL TO TRY.
-Jill Wolf
_____
I am sure you have faced this situation before: you are hesitant about trying something, you analyze, you consult, perhaps someone gives you a pep talk and finally when you actually start, you find it is easier and more enjoyable than you thought. The satisfaction on completing it is immense. Somehow we need to train ourselves to remember these experiences and therefore eagerly try out more and more difficult-looking tasks.
| #7 |
#7-1. There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it hardly behooves any of us
To talk about the rest of us.
-Attributed variously to Robert Stevenson and Edward Wallis Hoch
#7-2. The self is not something readymade, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.
-John Dewey
#7-3. Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open.
-Elmer G. Letterman
#7-4. Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.
-Abraham Lincoln
_____
Our character, our true inner self, shines through in subtle ways. You might be shy, you might try to pretend to be something you are not, but I have found that accomplished people are able to see through this easily. Once we taste success we should cultivate humility so as to avoid passing easy judgement on others and focus instead on building our own character as seen in our actions.
| #6 |
#6-1. Temper takes you to trouble, Pride keeps you there.
-Swami Chinmayananda
#6-2. Do not wait; the time will never be 'just right'. Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.
-Napoleon Hill
#6-3. Imagine that you are funded by the Universe, because you are.
-Burt Goldman
_____
Chinmayananda's aphorisms are pithy. Here he points out that sometimes we not only make a mistake but follow it up with a bigger mistake of not correcting. This is what I like to call "stuckness thinking" either due to ego or false pride. The solution is to pause, shake ourselves figuratively and move on.
Hill is an old proponent of positive thinking who wrote famous books such as Think And Grow Rich. The above statement is crisply brought out by the enduring tagline of Nike: Just Do It.
The third quote is a bit abstract but profound. Could be interpreted at multiple levels.
| #5: Carrots, Eggs or Coffee? |
Carrots, Eggs or Coffee?
A daughter complained to her mother about her life, the things that were hard on her and her desire to give it all up. As one problem was solved a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high flame to boil. She added carrots to one, eggs in the second, and in the last she dropped in some ground coffee beans. She let them boil for about twenty minutes. She then fished the carrots and eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter she asked "Darling, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee." she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She noted they were soft. Then she broke an egg. The daughter observed the egg had been boiled well. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. She smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.
She asked in a humble voice, "What does it mean mother?" Her mother explained that each of them had faced the same adversity, boiling water, but had reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. But when dropped in the boiling water, it softened and became tender. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But when boiled for a while, its core hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique however. When added to the boiling water, they changed the nature of the water.
"Which one of these are you"? she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you react"?
How about you dear reader?
Are you the carrot that appears hard, but with pain and adversity do you wilt and become soft and lose your strength? Are you the egg, which starts off with a malleable heart? Were you a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a divorce, or a layoff have you hardened and become stiff? Your shell looks the same, but are you bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and heart?
Or are you like the coffee bean? The bean adapts to the changes wrought by the hot water. Even when the water is very hot, it improves the taste.
If you are like the bean then, when things are at their worst, you get better and make things around you, better.
| #4 |
From J. Krishnamurthi's writings:
We only talk of freedom from something -- freedom from fear, freedom from anxiety, freedom from this or that. Is there a freedom which is not from anything but freedom per se, in itself? Or is true freedom non-existence of thought?From a blurb in an AIM matchbox:
A logical thinking mind is a nice contrast to the real world.RG's Observation:
Learning can happen anywhere, any time, from any source.
_____
I have found this about any of J Krishnamurthi's books: I can never read beyond two pages! Remember that I normally devour books even on the most abstract subjects at one go. It is not that his writing is boring or difficult to read. It just makes you think! And within the first few paragraphs, one's mind starts pondering over what he says. Very few people can get you so deep so quickly using simple words.
Whoever thought of putting interesting quotes on a 50 paise (about ten cents) match box? If you think logically about it, it is perfectly logical for the real world to offer a contrast to pure logic.
Anyone who doubts the possibility of learning from unexpected sources is advised to take a cab (regular taxi or a three-wheeler autorickshaw) in Bombay and chat up with the driver. From economics to philosophy to tips on savings and investment, you can gather brilliant nuggets. Probably true of most big cities like New York, London and Tokyo.
|
No comments:
Post a Comment