| #120 |
A slightly different flavour of thought-provokers...
#120-1. There are two rules of success:
(i) Don't tell everything you know.
-Frank Vizzare
#120-2. A witty saying proves nothing.
-Voltaire
#120-3. Fun is a good thing, but only when it spoils nothing better.
-George Santayana| #119: Stop Demotivating Me |
Stop Demotivating Me!
-Esther Derby, CIO
July 11, 2007
Excerpted from http://www.cio.com/article/print/123406 (highlights mine)
It never fails. Every time I give a talk on management, someone asks, "How can I motivate my staff?"
Managers hold pizza parties, deliver pep talks and hand out trinkets to boost motivation. And it's all for naught.
Most people show up for a new job with high motivation. They're excited and they want to do a good job. But as the weeks pass, motivation dribbles away. It's not because managers are failing to motivate these once-enthusiastic people. It's because organizational systems, policies-and yes, management actions -- actively demotivate people.
How can a manager demotivate employees? Let me count the ways.
The Demotivator's Hall of Shame
Surprises at the annual employee review. Most people believe that annual reviews and evaluations improve performance. But people need to know where they stand and what they can do to improve all year, not just at review time. When managers wait until the review cycle to communicate the need to improve, staffers feel set up. When the manager says he wants them to succeed, they wonder if he really means it. Not very motivating.
Micromanagement. Most people desire some measure of autonomy at work. Micromanagement -- dictating each detail of how a task should be done -- deprives people of autonomy. It communicates that the manager believes people are incompetent and incapable of making judgments. The worst form of micromanagement is telling people how to do a task without telling them why the task matters.
Public criticism. If you must criticize, do it in private. "Public" includes yelling so loudly that the entire staff can hear even when the office door is closed. A public dressing-down is a sure demotivator. And it doesn't affect just the individual; it affects everyone who witnesses the event.
Asking for one behavior and rewarding another. One of my early managers proclaimed that a stable production environment was our first priority when we made changes to the software we worked on. But I soon noticed that the people who received praise and promotions were not the ones who were methodical about testing their code. The rewards went to the developers who found and fixed crash bugs in the middle of the night -- usually crash bugs that they themselves had created. The steady Eddies of the group worked unnoticed -- or started inserting a few bugs themselves to gain the limelight.
Unachievable deadlines. Many managers seem to believe that without a deadline, people will dilly-dally and waste time. They profess that the work will expand to take all the available time, and that people (usually referred to as "workers" when this logic is applied) must be pushed to produce. Most people will bust their butts to meet a challenging deadline -- as long as they believe there's a reasonable chance of making it. But give them a deadline they believe is impossible, and motivation drains away.
Asking for input and then ignoring it. A manager asked the developers on his team to estimate a how long it would take to complete a project. The manager didn't like the estimate the team produced. "I've met rookie programmers who could work faster than this," the manager declared as he slashed the estimate by half. "Why did he waste our time?" one developer wondered. This team had a triple whammy: an unachievable timeline, a manager who dismissed their professional judgment, and a manager who berated them in public. They weren't motivated to meet the manager's aggressive timeline (but they were motivated to prove his timeline wrong).
Preferential treatment. Managers don't need to treat everyone equally; they do need to treat everyone equitably. Singling out employees for differential treatment (good or bad) telegraphs that honest hard work isn't the path to recognition. A few people may be motivated to "brown nose"; the rest will be turned off.
Empty phrases. It seems like there's an unending supply of (supposedly) inspirational directives: Just do it! Failure is not an option! Think outside the box! There may be situations where these phrases actually help, though I'm challenged to think of any. When managers meet legitimate concerns with empty phrases, it communicates that the manager a) doesn't understand the issue and/or b) doesn't have a clue what to do. Plus there's a bonus effect: People who believe their manager will dismiss their concerns out of hand don't stop having problems, they just stop telling their manager about them.
In addition to bad management, organizational procedures and systems can also sap motivation. Most companies acknowledge on some level that people are important to producing results. Yet organizational systems and policies may communicate the opposite message. (Like) People are expendable, Some people are more valued than others (as per a forced ranking and rating curve), and Employees are not trustworthy (e.g. policy requiring approval from senior manager for trivial amounts).
Creating an Environment for Success
Even against these odds, a manager can create an environment that maintains motivation and mitigate some negative effects of organizational demotivators.
Here are six things every manager can do to create a local climate that supports natural motivation:
Articulate the group's mission. Make sure people know the purpose of their work and how it fits into the overall mission of the company. Instill an understanding of how the group's work affects the bottom line of the company. Knowing the big picture enables people to make better decisions, and means you, as manager, don't need to be the decision bottleneck.
Recognize and appreciate contributions. Notice that I didn't say "Implement a rewards and recognition program." Those programs backfire as often as not. I'm talking about direct conversations with individuals that show that you, as a manager, notice and appreciate the contributions people make.
Provide clear, congruent feedback. People want to do a good job, and sometimes they need information to fine-tune performance. Rather than evaluate, describe behavior, or results, explain the impact and engage in problem solving. Providing information that helps people improve also helps them know you want them to succeed.
Deal firmly and respectfully with performance issues. Most people want to do a good job, and sometimes people don't have the skills (including interpersonal skills) to be successful. Don't let the situation drag on and on or protect one person at the expense of the group.
Eliminate obstacles and be an advocate for the group. When your organization throws up roadblocks, help knock them down -- or at least find a way around them for the group. Nothing is more demotivating than a manager who insists that employees meet deadlines but does nothing to help them with organizational issues.
Share company data. Disclose as much as you can (of course respecting confidential personnel matters) about company financial results, decisions and strategies. Even saying you don't know is preferable to saying nothing, especially during times of upheaval. Spreading knowledge spreads power.
Pep talks, speakers, posters, forced fun, and prizes are the stock and trade of companies that specialize in employee motivation. Although they may provide a temporary bump in morale (one that may even last a few hours longer than the rah-rah meeting), they won't overcome the underlying problems. Real motivation comes from pride in work, fair treatment and trust.
_____
Let us also look at the other side of the coin: most leaders do not start out being unfair tyrants, they also begin their managerial careers with enthusiasm to do well in their new roles. Somehow many of them soon forget how they behaved and felt in the earlier phase of their careers. Inadequate ongoing training is provided to managers. Their beliefs and behaviours are influenced by what they see their role models at higher levels do and thus it goes all the way to the top for stating and practising the values of the organization.
I also think expertise in terms of knowledge and skills in a particular area often leads everyone into a leadership position for which they might not be suited so part of the solution is to clearly lay down criteria for holding positions involving decisions about people. At the same time, such positions must not be glorified too much in comparison to subject matter specialist positions.
| #118 |
#118-1. If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.
-George Bernard Shaw
#118-2. Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of being a damned fool.
-Bellamy Brooks
#118-3. The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
-Hubert H. Humphrey
____
When we express our ideas and listen to another's, we often get some more ideas.
Deliberately doing silly, foolish things sometimes helps generate new ideas.
This is something many managers and subordinates fail to appreciate. A manager should not hesitate to let everyone voice their opinion on an important decision, somehow thinking that this diminishes the prerogative provided by the position. I can exercise my right to give suggestions to my seniors but cannot insist that they are all implemented.
| #117: Mountains of Inspiration |
This bonus edition of i-TFTD is inspired by my two-week vacation a couple of years ago, amongst the snow-clad mountains of Himachal Pradesh in North India:
#117-1. It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.
-Edmund Hillary
(Another variation is:)
#117-2. You can never conquer the mountain. You can only conquer yourself.
-James Whittaker
#117-3. Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.
-Anon
#117-4. In a flat country a hillock thinks itself a mountain.
-Turkish Proverb
#117-5. You cannot see the mountain near.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
#117-6. Is not the mountain far more awe-inspiring and more clearly visible to one passing through the valley than to those who inhabit the mountain?
-Kahlil Gibran
_____
All these have little to do with mountains and everything to do with ourselves, our perspectives.| #116: Wall Street Special |
A special bonus edition of i-TFTD in the midst of the unprecedented financial crisis gripping many countries of the world. Very few dispensers of wisdom appear wise at this juncture but here are a few thoughts, the first one from an unconventional source, and the rest from three people whose unconventional views have depth and longevity. Thanks to Pranav Parikh for suggesting the theme and providing a few quotes.
#116-1. Stop going for the easy buck and start producing something with your life. Create, instead of living off the buying and selling of others.
-Carl Fox (played by Martin Sheen) in the 1987 movie 'Wall Street'
#116-2. I like buying companies that can be run by monkeys - because one day they will be.
-Peter Lynch
OR
You should invest in a business that even a fool can run, because someday a fool will.
-Warren Buffett
#116-3. We humans are naturally gullible — disbelieving requires an extraordinary expenditure of energy. It is a limited resource. I suggest ranking the skepticism by its consequences on our lives.
-Nassim Nicholas Taleb
#116-4. A pin lies in wait for every bubble and when the two eventually meet, a new wave of investors learns some very old lessons.
-Warren Buffett
#116-5. The government-sponsored institution Fannie Mae, when I look at its risks, seems to be sitting on a barrel of dynamite, vulnerable to the slightest hiccup. But... their large staff of scientists deemed these events "unlikely."
-Nassim Nicholas Taleb, in 2006
#116-6. The banking system (betting AGAINST rare events) just lost > 1 Trillion dollars (so far) on a single error, more than was ever earned in the history of banking. Yet bankers kept their previous bonuses and it looks like citizens have to foot the bills. And one Professor Ben Bernanke pronounced right before the blowup that we live in an era of stability and "great moderation" (he is now piloting a plane and we all are passengers on it).
-Nassim Nicholas Taleb
#116-7. Never invest in any idea you can't illustrate with a crayon.
-Peter Lynch
#116-8. (When you don't have an explanation) it takes a lot of courage to keep silent.
-Nassim Nicholas Taleb
| #115: Great Leaders are Value Shapers |
Great leaders understand that it is their capacity to shape values that ultimately directs the course of an organization. To identify the true character and personality of your organization, skip the values statement that hangs in the corporate foyer and observe your people — they are the living expression of your organization’s underlying values.
by Kevin and Jackie Freiberg
Great leaders understand that it is their capacities to shape values and educate through vivid, living, personal example that ultimately direct the course of an organization. The way people think about customers and co-workers, the way they behave, and their impressions of right and wrong are all influenced by watching the way their leaders live out the organization's values.
If you want to identify the true character and personality of an organization, skip the values statement that hangs in the corporate foyer and observe the way people act in the mundane, ad hoc, isolated events of every day. Then examine the company's systems, strategy, structure, and policies. They are the living expression of the organization's underlying values.
Every firm builds its reputation based on a set of values. The question is whether the values driving the business of the firm have been haphazardly acquired or purposefully instilled, protected, and promoted. This is why leaders must become particularly interested in their role as value shapers.
TWO TYPES OF VALUES
Two types of values exist in every organization: the espoused values and the values people practice. When there is alignment between the two types of values, leaders within the organization are perceived to operate out of personal integrity. Simply put, personal integrity is doing what you say you're going to do.
When there is a disconnect between the espoused values and the values we practice, that's called hypocrisy. Professing a belief, philosophy, or standard to which you don't hold yourself accountable is an act of pretension and insincerity. Hypocrisy is the practice of doing this habitually. Leaders who operate out of hypocrisy breed compliance, because they lack influence and must lean on positional power to get things done. In the long run mere compliance will take the organization only so far before people lose faith in their leaders.
Leadership functions on the basis of trust and credibility. That's why leaders must become consciously aware of closing the gap between the espoused values and the values they practice. Leaders who live their values inspire a tremendous sense of commitment and loyalty in others. As a result, they expand their influence and their ability to effect change. This is important because the highly competitive and rapidly changing world in which we live requires nothing short of a radical commitment to excellence from every person in the organization. With strong leadership, people develop the necessary hope, passion, and perseverance to meet the demands of an unforgiving marketplace.
_____
Children do as we do, not as we say. Same thing applies to followers. Part of a person's growth into a leader involves inculcating a basic authenticity. Some might reach high positions without crossing this milestone, and find it highly uncomfortable and unhappy there.| #114 |
#114-1. The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind.
-Wayne Dyer
#114-2. The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to him. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-George Bernard Shaw
#114-3. Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.
-Ann Landers
_____
The first one might appear abstract if seen as a philosophical statement. The Akbar-Birbal story about a piece of gold and the royal barber illustrates the same principle as a simple observation on human behaviour. Either way, it puts an enormous responsibility -- of our life -- on ourselves.
The second is cited sometimes as a funny example of logic. Actually it is a true statement in any creative new endeavour.
| #113: Colored |
Colored
When I born, I Black,
When I grow up, I Black,
When I go in sun, I Black,
When I scared, I Black,
When I sick, I Black,
And when I die, I still Black...
And you, white fella...
When you born, you Pink,
When you grow up, you White,
When you go in sun, you Red,
When you cold, you Blue,
When you scared, you Yellow,
When you sick, you Green,
And when you die, you Gray...
And you call me Colored?
(Thanks to Varsha Sinha and Ritesh Rawal for sharing this. Some sites say this is an award-winning poem written by an African kid but other sites attribute different origins.)
_____
The humour and the irony is immediately noticeable. It also makes us wonder about the ability of language to reveal prejudice and to sustain it. Dominant cultures attribute qualities to colors and transfer it to people with skins in those colors. Even the most liberal-minded amongst us may unknowingly be influenced by such bias as described by Malcolm Gladwell in his book, "Blink". He also points to the Harvard site containing implicit association tests that can uncover this. Try it, it's spooky. They also have India-flavoured tests there.
| #112 |
Some of my favourites...
#112-1. There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up.
-Booker T. Washington
#112-2. You are not only responsible for what you say, but also for what you do not say.
-Martin Luther King
#112-3. The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers, but it takes a very creative mind to spot wrong questions.
-Antony Jay
____
The first one should be a poster stuck on the desk of everyone who is a boss.
Many creative solutions have emerged when the problem statement itself was re-examined and redefined. It is a healthy thinking habit to acquire, spend a few moments to study the question or issue before plunging into analysis of solutions.
| #111: There's (Always) More Left in the Tube |
There's More Left in the Tube
Our biggest breakthroughs often occur when we think there's nothing left in our tube.
by Jeff Keller
When I shave each morning, I use shaving cream that comes out of a small "travel size" aerosol can. The can is only about three inches high. I'd been using that little can for several weeks, when I realized the can was getting very light. I immediately thought, "Can't be much more left in here." I was just about to throw it in the wastebasket when I figured I could eke out another shave or two.
Much to my amazement, the shaving cream kept coming out day after day after day. I ended up getting 19 more shaves from that little dispenser! And to think that I was just about to throw the can away.
I'm sure you've experienced the same thing with a tube of toothpaste or shampoo. It looks like the tube is just about empty, but you keep folding the tube and squeezing — and you get days or weeks of extra use from the supposedly empty tube.
There's a lesson here for all of us. We work toward a goal and sometimes get frustrating results for a long time. Things aren't working out as we had anticipated. We think there's not much left in "our tube," and we give some thought to quitting. The reality is that we have a lot more left in the tube, if we'll only continue to believe in ourselves and keep moving forward.
In fact, our biggest breakthroughs often occur when we think there's nothing left in our tube. You see, there's a polarity to life, and when you experience setbacks and disappointments, these are often balanced by significant achievements. Yet most people quit before the "turnaround" happens.
Napoleon Hill, one of the most insightful success writers of all time, described this phenomenon in his classic self-help book Think & Grow Rich. In the early 1900s, Hill spent decades interviewing more than 500 of the most successful people in the United States — people like Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and Andrew Carnegie. Hill reported that hundreds of these successful individuals told him that their greatest success came just one step after they suffered their greatest defeat.
Harriet Beecher Stowe put the principle this way: "When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you until it seems that you cannot hold on for a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."
About 10 years ago, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen began pitching their book to various publishers. The first 30 rejected their book. They could have thrown in the towel then, believing the tube was empty. Then they got the 31st rejection ... and then the 32nd rejection. Was the tube empty? They didn't think so. On the 140th attempt, they finally got a publisher to say yes to their book. That book was Chicken Soup for the Soul, and it spawned a series of books that has now sold more than 80 million copies!
____
The challenge is that we do not know when pushing ahead a little bit more will give us a breakthrough. The trick is to maintain a positive expectation and focus only on the next step or two. How do we know whether we are being persistent or pig-headed? The larger the goal, the more noble the endeavour to reach it. When we try new approaches, gather new inputs and help, it is more useful than if we simply keep plodding along. Something like smarter hard work instead of simply hard work or smart work.| #110 |
#110-1. Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.
-Northrup Christiane
#110-2. A big shot is just a small shot who keeps shooting... shooting... shooting...
-Anon
#110-3. It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
-Harry S Truman
____
The first cannot be explained scientifically or rationally. Try it and see.
Often the people who give up too soon are the ones complaining about the world, fate, the boss, politics and bad luck. After someone succeeds it looks easy.
The third is true, but practical advice in today's world would be to acquire the skills and tactics to make sure credit is not always denied for your contribution! It is better to be clear what is more important, getting something to happen (regardless of who gets the credit) or being the visible influencer. The answer could change as we progress through stages of maturity.
| #109: Listen to the Whisper |
Listen to the Whisper
by Doug Sundheim
None of us will ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he listens to this whisper which is heard by him alone.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American author, minister, & activist
When I do mission and vision work with clients, the first thing I have them do is present their current mission and vision. Most of what I hear could put you to sleep. It's formulaic. It's lifeless. And the delivery is uninspired. I then ask them them to dig a little deeper. "What's the mission that's whispering to you? - that's begging you to follow it - that might sound silly or unreasonable, but that gets you fired up as you think about pursuing it." The answers to these questions are often much different. They're electric in comparison. They're raw, but they're real. And as a result they have the ability to inspire and move people.
Consider this:
Mediocrity is easy - follow the masses. Excellence, however, is not - that's a path you've got to carve on your own. Your guide is often no more than a faint whisper inside of you. To pursue it takes courage. And to succeed takes imagination and hard work. However, the payoff is big if you stick to it. You will have built something from nothing. And you will have forged your character and legacy in the process.
Try this:
1. What whisper do you hear?
2. Put it on paper - I recommend doing this even if you think you know it already - it forces you to articulate it more clearly.
3. Recognize that this is your sweet spot - the place where you'll find more creativity and success than anywhere else.
4. When the time is right, follow it. Slowly at first if you have to.
5. Revisit this whisper at least once a year as it can change and grow as you begin to listen to it.
_____
We all know at least one or two kinds of activities in specific situations where we simply shine. Effortlessly. And have won admiration from others though we probably felt it was no big deal. Such talents provide clues to our core strengths. We wish that somehow this should be more repeatable; we get the feeling that if our work was such that we could apply these talents regularly, we could operate with excellence and life would then be more fulfilling. The strengths-based approach is all about channelizing our areas of passion into our roles. This is the ultimate career planning secret.| #108: A New Age of Leadership? |
A New Age of Leadership at Harvard
Linda Tischler
February 12, 2007
The naming of the first female president of Harvard University, a place where, as recently as the mid-1970s, women were barred from entering the main door of the faculty club, has prompted the expected chorus of folks wondering if Drew Gilpin Faust's gender was the main reason for her appointment. That's not an unreasonable question since her predecessor, Larry Summers, was pretty much run out of office on a rail after speculating if women were biologically cut out for quant disciplines like science and math.
But the more interesting reason for Faust’s selection may be the one alluded to in last Saturday's New York Times. Richard Chait, a professor of higher education at Harvard, told the paper that he thought the presidential search committee was attracted to Faust because of her management style. "My own sense is that it's a new template for leadership, and that probably is not unrelated to gender, but it ought not get eclipsed by it."
Dr. Chait, who studies university management, noted that several major American corporations have recently ousted their tough, even bullying leaders, in favor of more diplomatic, people-oriented managers.
It seems that the softer side of leadership is getting a lot of attention these days. Just last week, Thomas Kuczmarski, who teaches courses on innovation at Northwestern's Kellogg School of Management, was in our office talking about a new book he wrote about leadership with his wife, Susan Kuczmarski, a cultural anthropologist. It’s called "Apples are Square: Thinking Differently About Leadership," (to be published in July.)
One of the things he says he's now telling his budding MBAs is that the old Jack Welch model of leadership --- assertive, aggressive, controlling, and competitive – has to change. "We need more feminine characteristics in management," he says.
Just don't call them that, he warned me. Might spook the fellas.
Nancy Pelosi aside, the modern workplace is not yet ready to sign on to something that might lead someone to call the CEO a girly man. The acceptable way of talking about a leadership model that's more collaborative, consensus-driven, compassionate, and inclusive, he says, is the gender-neutral term "values-based leadership."
Call it what you will. But keep your eyes open and chances are good you'll start recognizing it in the most unlikely places... like at P&G, where A.G. Lafley replaced Durk Jager (who was known as "an aggressive change agent with a confrontational style") and Disney, where Robert Iger succeeded Michael Eisner (called, by the BBC, "direct, domineering, and harsh.")
And now even Harvard. Can the Age of Aquarius be far behind?
_____
Lately there has been a lot of focus on masculine versus feminine as opposed to male versus female, the premise being that each of us embodies both aspects. The ancients seem to have realized this, as brought out by the concepts of the Chinese yin-yang, and the Indian shiv-shakti. Could be applied to personalities, leadership styles and even problem solving approaches. On a lighter note, the essential differences are well known to anyone who is married!| #107 |
#107-1. Conditions are never just right. People who delay action until all factors are favorable do nothing.
-William Feather
#107-2. Only those who have to do simple things perfectly will acquire the skill to do difficult things easily.
-Johann Schiller
#107-3. To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.
-Anatole France
_____
Sep 5 is celebrated in India as Teachers’ Day in honour of one of India’s greatest teachers, former President Dr. S. Radhakrishnan. Happy Teachers' Day to all of you who contribute to others' development.
My Musing: In these days of Lifelong Learning, there ought to be an annual Students' Day, too.
The third quote is a good reminder in this our rational, super-practical age that dreams and beliefs play an important part in great achievements. In this context the old saying, "If I see it, I will believe it" is replaced by Dr. Wayne Dyer's book title, "You'll See It When You Believe It".
| #106 |
#106-1. Humanity as a whole must learn to leave behind the "you or me" attitude of the past and begin to make the "you and me" or "you and us" attitude a total reality today!
-Thomas D. Willhite
#106-2. Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
-Sydney J. Harris
#106-3. He who adds not to his learning diminishes it.
-The Talmud
_____
The second one is a killer. Anyone who is not "very young" would relate to it. I can offer this advice to such persons: Let others who are younger not suffer the same pangs, facilitate their stepping out and beyond, their experimentation and help them boldly go where... you perhaps did not go.
Knowledge and skills can easily "rust" if not updated and practised. A useful habit is to listen to or read something without saying, "I already know this." Often we discover a new interpretation.
| #105: Letter to Son's Teacher |
There is an alleged "true story" about Winston Churchill and Alexander Fleming that is often circulated via e-mail. It is in fact a popular myth. The value of that story diminishes if it is a concocted one.
On the other hand, there are other popularly misquoted items that are worth reading anyway. The following is widely circulated even by many authoritative sources as written by US President Abraham Lincoln to his son's teacher. I find it touching, even after knowing that he did not.
Letter to Son's Teacher
(by Anonymous)
He will have to learn, I know, that all men are not just, all men are not true.
But teach him that for every scoundrel there is a hero,
that for every selfish politician there is a dedicated leader.
Teach him that for every enemy, there is a friend.
It will take time, I know but teach him if you can,
that a dollar earned is of far more value than five found.
Teach him to learn to lose and also to enjoy winning.
Steer him away from envy if you can, teach him the secret of quiet laughter.
Let him learn early that the bullies are the easiest to lick.
Teach him if you can the wonder of books,
In school teach him it is far more honourable to fail than to cheat.
Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if every one tells him they are wrong.
Teach him if you can, how to laugh when he is sad.
Teach him there is no shame in tears.
Teach him to scoff at cynics and to beware of too much sweetness.
Teach him to sell his brawn and brain to the highest bidders
but never to put a price tag on his heart and soul.
Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob and to stand and fight if he thinks he is right.
Treat him gently, but do not cuddle him,
because only the test of fire makes fine steel.
Let him have the courage to be impatient.
Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself,
because then he will always have sublime faith in mankind.
This is a big order, but see what you can do.
He is such a fine little fellow, my son.
| #104 |
#104-1. Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought.
-Basho
(Thanks to Shuja Rahman for sharing this.)
#104-2. Begin somewhere; you cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do.
-Liz Smith
(Thanks to Gupta Atul for sharing this.)
#104-3. We change the world not by what we say or do, but as a consequence of what we have become.
-David Hawkins
(Thanks to Ramanan Jagannathan for sharing this.)
____
The first one is profound. We find it easier to blindly mimic the procedural aspects of a past success rather than imbibe the spirit, the values, and do the hard work of evolving an approach suited to the changed times. This reminds me of the inspiring anecdote of Maitreyi, one of the two wives of sage Yajnavalkya. When he decided to retire to the forest and asked his wives how they would like all his possessions to be divided amongst them, she expressed her curiosity to know about that which made him leave all his wealth. This story forms the context for a large portion of the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad – one of the old philosophical texts roughly dated to the 8th century BC that contains, among other gems, the doctrine of "neti, neti" (not this, not that) and the "Lead us from Darkness to Light" snippet beginning with "asatoma".
A lot of books such as Execution by Ram Charan and Larry Bossidy, The Knowing-Doing Gap by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert Sutton and Getting Things Done by David Allen are selling by the millions because they purport to help us get started with the right action.
I believe our words have an impact on others and ourselves much more than what many believe. Actions obviously have a bigger impact on changing the environment. The third tells us that the biggest impact is from who we are so we need to choose our words and actions such that they help us in becoming what we wish to become.
In a way, these three have a special significance for me and many around me, especially today (August 22, 2008).
| #103 |
#103-1. Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose.
-Bill Gates
#103-2. Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.
-Cecil Beaton
#103-3. It is a curious fact that of all the illusions that beset mankind none is quite so curious as that tendency to suppose that we are mentally and morally superior to those who differ from us in opinion.
-Elbert Hubbard
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My first reaction on reading the first one is: if you are Bill Gates you can say anything and it will be considered profound. Well, that itself is a useful hint, isn't it? Achieve something in some area first, then expect to get a better hearing.
The third one is interesting. We either give too much credence or too little respect to difference in opinion. Rarely do we approach it neutrally. That is why we need reminders to treat different ideas as we treat complementary colors, and reminders to avoid conformity (like the second quote above).
| #102: Body Talk |
Body talk
by A G Krishnamurthy (Ad industry veteran, writes a weekly column in Business Standard India)
February 23, 2007
Experts have concluded that it takes only 90 seconds for a stranger to form an impression about you — especially in formal, business situations where an introduction invariably takes places in a highly charged and judgmental environment.
Everybody is sizing each other up and this is how the cookie crumbles: A huge 55 per cent of the first impression you make is formed by your body language, a non-committal 38 per cent is awarded to your articulation and a meagre 7 per cent to content! I went through most of my career blissfully unaware of the nitty-gritty behind a "Hello, I am so and so..." but looking back on all my first encounters with clients and colleagues, I realise that there is a lot of truth behind this analysis.
A lot of what went into my 'gut' feeling about people lay in the volume of communication that preceded the actual conversation. Come to think of it, I would invariably make up my mind whether I liked, disliked, trusted or was suspicious of a person long before we actually had a conversation!
The rest was just a confirmation of my initial impression. Every single detail gives you away in an encounter — the firmness or the slackness of your handshake, the length of your gaze — stare too long and you will be considered rude and intrusive, too little and it means you are ignoring their presence. The ideal length of a look apparently is 10 seconds. Look away after that, else your intentions will be misconstrued!
The general impression is that most people react positively when you have pleasantness about your face all the time, if you know how to listen and then answer, rather than doing a "fastest finger first" and blurting out an opinion before you understand the context. Most newcomers seem to have the impression that expressing an opinion on everything is a good thing.
To sum up, even though the extent body language can impact your career can be frightening, the good news is that if you are a good person your personality will manifest itself in subtle ways to win the day, even when all else seems against you.
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Despite the research and simple tips available today on body language, it is amazing how many people violate these norms and unfortunately give negative impressions of themselves. Presentations and speeches without conveying energy and enthusiasm, talking without varying tone, avoiding eye contact in one-on-one meetings... One does not have to read the many good books on body language to know these basics and I certainly would not advise taking a formulaic approach like, "Oh, this person folded his arms, his mind is closed to any suggestion..." but an awareness of your own habits and avoiding simple mistakes can go a long away in creating a favourable impression.| #101 |
#101-1. It is easy to sit up and take notice. What is difficult is getting up and taking action.
-Al Batt
#101-2. While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, another is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.
-Anon
#101-3. The first two letters of the word goal spell "GO".
-Eleanor Doan
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August 15 being the Indian Independence Day, we have the tradition of celebrating it with decoration at the office on the previous working day. Someone asked this morning, "Why do we have posters saying, 'Happy Independence Day'?"
I guess many of the post-1947-born Indians do not fully appreciate the freedom we have. We only have to look around and there are millions in the world without the basic freedom to access information, speak their mind and act.
The above action-oriented quotes would not resonate with them as it could with people in a free country
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